requiem for a dream

The first time i tried to see the movie, i knew it has some thing in it, but i couldnt continue beyond the first 30 mins, i left it there. The reason could be losing patience, may be i am getting addicted to simple and go easy movies. Then bala reccommended that movie to me. And i saw the rest in two shifts. And i am writing this one just after finishing the last shift. And my hands are still trembling. My blood is still recovering from the chill that the movie caused in me. If i hear its back ground music again, i may get that chill again.
The movie started off with a little feud between the mother, Sara and the son, Harry, over her excessive indulgence in tv game shows, the son trying to take the tv away from her. Harry leaves after all that. Then we see the harry going to meet his friend and girl friend, marion, doping together, which is shown with quite impressive sequence of shots, which repeats throughout the movie. Marion'(jennifer connelly) screen presence in the movie is too good, the frames that she adorns, a little eye lasher doing her eyes, lipstick touching her lips, everything about her in the movie is enticing. And the shots that involve these doping people, are a step above the other ones that take off from the normal level of cinematic beauty to a level of artistic perfection. Harry and marion, along with harries friend are also making some money out of retailing dope.
Sara in the mean while, is excastic about an offer to be on tv and about the attention that she gets in her neighbourhood after that. When harry comes back after a while, he see a new Sara in place of his mother, some body who is happy and addicted to the pills given by a quack, to reduce her weight. The scene also have sara crying to harry about the meaningless lonely life that she was leading and what meaning she has got from the offer to be on tv.
We see after wards the chain of incidents in the path of these people from a state of deperateness to lowest levels of human existence. This chain is so powerfully presented, that it has the power to melt any body to the core. I dont know about drug addicts, but i think this movie would be like the treatment given to the hero of clock work orange, which made him shun violence, if given to an addict(this point has been blankly contradicted by fellows who have doped in imdbs movie discussion board, but lots of guys like me who havent doped swore never to dope after seeing the movie) .
I also think about the young fellows in the movie, they care less. They dont care. I have seen that in some actions of a lot of my friends. But when it come to human relations, mostly they care. Carelessness in the young ones, i think is natural, and so we may as well identify with them. They care about themselves. Its good isnt it. I admire fellows who care about their priorities, who have their priorities set. Dope makes them happy, i dont know what dope gives you(but i would say, i got close to understanding it seeing some of the scenes), but it gives them some thing, and that seems to be their priority. Harry doesnt mind sticking the needle into his hand so roughly, and even ignores when it all wounded with the punctures, that it has to be amputated, as long as he get his dope. And marion crawls back happyly into foetal position after being humiliatingly used in an orgy, arranged by a dope supplier, since she got her weeks supply of dope I cant identify with them easily, but i am sure that a lot of youngsters can. So they can understand these people. May be we all should understand them. For what, i dont know. But i feel that it will be good for you and them.

late night biryani

yesterday night, i was a little late at leaving the office, and it was 11:30, a time when i knew no hotels around will be open. i was resigned to the fate of making omlettes at home, when my colleague who was also working late, offered to roam around the city in search for an open eatary. it was a good ride on his bike, zooming along the wide, and free city roads. and we found an open restaurant, where they had biryani. i am not quite a fan of hyderabadi biryani, but the chicken in these huge biraynies were huge and superbly done. i was tucking it in with wild abandon, and that is when i saw the smile on my colleagues face. he was a little amused i think. at that moment it struck me that i am in the company of a mature person. i truly think that i should have company of more mature and more evolved people. you should never be entirely in the company of immature people, unless you are helping them get rid of their immaturity , there by getting more mature.

how easily we get dependent. we dont even notice that. just now i was feeling stressed and felt like having a headache. and what do i do. go to the cafeteria and make a tea. does it help. most often not. but we just do the easiest thing that can be done. we dont look for the obvious cure also. take a little break. i remember the moov ads that come on tv. the lady of the house has a bad back pain and is unable to service the family members. so what does the loving grandma do. give her moov, a fucking pain killer, so that she can forget about the pain and go back to work.i used to think how thought less that ad was. and i am doing the same to myself. ha.

lunch break

it used to be the time i talked the most in my previous company, it used to be a good time. here i dont feel like that. i dont have friends here, who listen to me. and i hate some of the guys here. it doesnt take much for me to hate some body. and its momentary. and occassionally i try to start talking, only to know later that nobody is listening. its ok. that is the part where i start enjoying my self. just me talking to me. as it has been most of the times. any way there is another good side of not having the people around, listening to me, since i have this tendency to entertain them by demeaning myself in that case. i feel that i have written the same lines long before, may be i deleted it later. or is it a dé·jà vu.